Get Mad & Get Even


Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t much like my revenge cold.  I rather prefer it sweaty, buff, and egotistical. Because there’s another quote about revenge that suits me much better and I’d like to convince you of this, too; “Live well.  It is the best revenge.”

Angry Joe

Behold, my angry face.

When you come at it from this direction, revenge isn’t just okay, it’s downright good for you and those around you.  It might as well be prescribed by doctors.  Have you been dumped?  Cut off in traffic?  Lied to by your children?  Unable to resist eating the entire thing of Oreos?  Got another parking ticket?  Tried on clothes you wanted really bad but couldn’t fit into?  Get mad.  And then, get even.

Buff arms.  The best ass you’ve ever had.  An eight minute mile.  One notch tighter on your belt.  Getting checked out at the beach.  A co-worker asking, “Have you lost weight?”.  Doesn’t that sound a lot more rewarding then keying someone’s car or embarrassing yourself by cussing up a storm?  Screaming into a pillow doesn’t have jack on sweating it out in a cardio kickboxing class.

Everyone has been touting what exercise can do for stress, but try flipping that on it’s head.  What can your stress do for your exercise?  Lots.  Every rep, step, and drop of sweat is a huge middle finger in the face of everything and everyone you’re up against. By taking care of yourself you’re thumbing at your taxes, your ex, and the fact that Oreo’s and beer are so damn tasty.  Get pissed off about it.  Get satisfaction, and get moving.  Get moving faster, harder, stronger.

By Gorgalore from the Wikimedia Commons

Hulk smash!

Exercise is selfish.  It is self-indulgent, pampering, the equivalent of pimping your ride or wearing designer clothes.  But this is better.  No one can make you feel guilty about exercising.    No one will tell you not to be proud of losing two pounds, being able to see your triceps, or running a 5k.  And in the end, are you still mad about whatever ridiculous thing got in your way?  Hell no.  You’re too busy reveling in the end result.  Channel your stress into learning to run.  Turn it into a goal to get to doing 100 crunches and 100 pushups more days then you don’t.  Use it to work on being able to squat more than you weigh.  Find a picture of the Hulk and tape it to your monitor, your fridge, or your alarm clock, whatever.  Be Bruce Banner, just don’t go green until you get your sneakers laced and your water bottle filled up. When things don’t go your way, get thee fiercely to your workout space.

Exercise isn’t punishment!  It’s flipping the universe the bird and getting up on your high horse. Now go forth, and conquer.