Coming or going, we’re always falling! Love shouldn’t be painful or fraught with injury yet it is casually and regularly described as a ‘falling’ endeavor. I think I’ve admitted in previous blogs to ‘falling in love way to easily,’ which some consider to be a weakness. Sadly the consequence of such clumsiness on my part is being a reluctant friend with ‘falling out of love.’
Falling out of love with someone is no small matter for those who truly loved. We must ignore, even abandon, those instincts that kicked in while our dreams flourished with our lover in mind. If you were to delve into my ‘love history’ you’d discover my willingness to embrace another with a belief that the partnership would be eternal. I only know of one love that is truly eternal (yes, a reference to God’s love) and, so it seems by my experience, human love certainly does not measure to that standard. Let me count those with whom I’ve expressed love for in my short time on terra firma: been married twice, and been formally or informally engaged four additional times and one with whom more recently I’ve express feelings of love for. Ouch! That’s a lot of falling, even by my forgiving filter of such things. Yes do that math, seven times I’ve believed in a forever partnership, seven times I discovered love to be elusive.
You can avoid love’s grasp by siding to caution, withhold the commitment to the fall all because you are certain it’s embrace is doomed. How many of us have prophesied this fate and found it self fulfilling? On a few occasions I have run into former loves and found them well adjusted and happy, despite our ‘falling out.’ Curious how it hurts to believe they’ve moved on, or perhaps they are hiding it equally as well as I am that the flame of love never really died, it was just put into the hidden room in our hearts where no draft will ever extinguish it. I can count too many times how I miscalculated the future. Love should be lived in the moment, we only have today after all.
Here are some tips to fall gracefully out of love, if you care to add to the list don’t be shy.
Hide the flame in the hidden room before an evil wind passes. You never know when your lover may return to the warmth you both once shared.
Enjoy the gifts you exchanged, after all, they were given in love.
If you cannot eat for awhile, do it well! Take vitamins, drink lots of water, take naps.
Hug your pet a lot. Pets know of no other way to be except loving. You can learn something by their example.
Remember, being alone is not an eternal curse, and neither is longing to be with someone.
Go to sleep every night to music and wake up every morning. Going through the motions of your daily routines will serve you well. One day you’ll wake up, breath easier, your easy smile and delightful laugh will return. When that happens, love will knock at your door again.
I have loved, I have been loved, I want both again.
Thanks for reading this far.