Category: Relationship Lessons

Divorce Disaster Preparedness, Part I: Duck, Cover, and Hold.

But you know, it just shouldn’t be the role of the people going through the divorce to convince you that their divorce would be okay for you. It isn’t your divorce. It isn’t up to you. You’re not their judge and jury. If you’re their friend, be a friend. If you’re their family, be their family. Maybe you do know better. Good for you. But this is not your moment to play Judge Judy, Dear Abby, Solomon, or Freud. Do everyone a favor and shut the fuck up.

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Automatic Politeness

One summer I witnessed my son and his two friends sitting near the bottom of a grassy slope in front of my home. All three had their Game Boy’s out working on making it to new, unexplored levels of Pokemon, a game series in which they each possessed a cartridge. When one would get stumped, the other would offer to help them through that part of the game. Hi-five’s abounded as they reveled in their accomplishments, and consoling pats on the back when certain failure occurred at each new level.

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Love Hurts, Rewritten

I’ve always thought that the Nazareth song, Love Hurts, was one of the all-time great songs about love. But it’s hard to sing old songs sometimes without knowing what you know now. So, with...

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Everyone Needs A Starter Marriage

Back in the day, when marriage was an inescapable social obligation, a property arrangement, and a breeding plan, back when you could expect (or hope) to die in your 50s, early marriage made some sense. But not so given the relationship that marriage has become. We’re getting into the workforce older, we’re choosing to have children later, and we live into our 70s. It makes sense to move the marriage start date back a couple of decades. We need to grow up first.

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